What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Yes sir it is.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

How do I know if I am a bitch? I try to be a nice person but people often jokingly call me a bitch. My family calls me a bitch sometimes too.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Why do guys look up TikTok girls instead of porn? My boyfriend of two years, looks up big boobs on TikTok. He has never once cheated on me, not on social media or IRL. He claims it’s to “get off real quick if I’m not home.”

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

After a few moments he returns.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Warner Bros. Discovery bonds see big selloff as ratings are cut to junk. Should stock investors be worried? - MarketWatch

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Sure no problem officer.

My cantankerous beagle is very badly behaved at the dog park and always starts barking at the other dogs. Would pepper spray be an effective method to correct his inappropriate behavior?

HELLO

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Are there any penalties for bestiality in the USA and laws prohibiting it?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

{RING} {RING}